BN#71 Self-Compassion – The Inner Shift That Heals Trauma, Shame, and the Inner Critic
Learn how to stop judging yourself and heal from the inside out--with daily practices, science-backed tools, and soul-level kindness
At a Glance: 10 Reasons Self-Compassion Changes Everything
Self-compassion is not weakness—it’s strength.
It makes healing possible where judgment has kept you stuck.Your Inner Critic is a protector, not a villain.
It formed to keep you safe from outside shame—often mimicking critical voices from childhood.True motivation grows from kindness, not fear.
Research shows self-compassion leads to greater resilience, performance, and emotional stability than self-judgment.Self-compassion heals the roots of trauma.
It softens shame, builds nervous system safety, and makes space for wounded parts to return home.You can't heal what you continue to hate.
Compassion allows you to witness your pain without becoming it—and without abandoning it.The Judge (in PQ) thrives on fear, shame, and control.
The Sage thrives on empathy, curiosity, and love—and is accessed through self-compassion.Self-compassion is essential for all 3 Inner Shifts:
From False Self to True Self, Inflexibility to Flexibility, and Trauma to Wholeness.Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all other healing.
When you stop judging your pain, your system stops protecting against your own presence.Small, daily acts of self-compassion rewire your brain and body.
Hand-on-heart, kind words, softening your tone—all send a message: “I am safe. I am loved.”You are not a project to fix.
You are a person to love. That love—given consistently, gently, and bravely—is what changes everything.
Introduction: Why Self-Compassion Matters More Than Ever
What if the most powerful tool for healing wasn’t discipline, insight, or productivity—but kindness?
Not the kindness you give others, but the kindness you offer to yourself—especially in your darkest moments. Especially when you feel anxious, ashamed, stuck, or broken.
That’s the moment when your healing begins.
Not when you fix yourself.
But when you stop abandoning yourself.
This is the paradox at the heart of transformation:
The more wounded we are, the more we need self-compassion—
and yet the more we tend to resist it.
If you were taught that love must be earned…
If you learned to motivate yourself with criticism or control…
If you’ve survived trauma, rejection, or emotional neglect…
Then self-compassion can feel foreign.
Even threatening.
Or like you’re doing something wrong.
But here’s the truth:
You cannot heal what you continue to judge.
And you cannot lead yourself forward with fear.
Self-compassion is not optional. It’s foundational.
It is the doorway to reclaiming your True Self—
the calm, clear, compassionate center of who you really are.
It is also the missing piece in most personal growth.
You may already understand your trauma.
You may be practicing breathwork or mindset shifts.
But without self-compassion, your inner system stays guarded.
Healing becomes performance. Progress becomes pressure.
In The Inner Shift, self-compassion is the tone and terrain of transformation.
It softens the inner critic.
It comforts the inner child.
It rebuilds secure attachment from the inside out.
And it restores you to the one person you need most:
Yourself.
So if you’ve been struggling with anxiety, shame, sabotage, or the feeling that nothing ever quite sticks— this may be the practice you’ve been missing.
It’s time to stop trying to earn your worth.
It’s time to start relating to yourself with the love you’ve always needed.
Let’s begin there.
Part 1: What Self-Compassion Really Is (and What It’s Not)
Most people misunderstand self-compassion.
They think it means letting themselves off the hook.
Or wallowing in self-pity.
Or giving up on growth.
But true self-compassion is none of those things.
It is not weak.
It is not soft.
And it is definitely not self-indulgent.
In fact, according to Dr. Kristin Neff—one of the world’s leading researchers in this field—self-compassion is a skill set. It’s an active, courageous way of relating to yourself when things go wrong. And it’s one of the most powerful predictors of resilience, emotional well-being, and authentic motivation.
Neff defines self-compassion as having three essential components:
1. Mindfulness
The willingness to see clearly that you are suffering, without exaggeration or avoidance.
It means pausing long enough to say, “This is hard.”
Instead of pushing away pain—or fusing with it—you allow yourself to witness what’s real.
“You can’t heal what you won’t allow yourself to feel.”
2. Common Humanity
This is the recognition that you are not alone in your struggle.
Suffering is part of the human experience—not a personal failure.
Self-compassion reminds you: “It’s not just me.”
And that insight dissolves the shame of isolation.
“Pain says something happened. Shame says something’s wrong with me.
Self-compassion breaks that illusion.”
3. Self-Kindness
The final piece is how you respond to yourself.
Not with judgment, not with self-blame—but with the same kindness you would give a dear friend.
It is not about letting yourself off the hook.
It’s about offering yourself support—so you can grow from love, not fear.
“Instead of asking, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ try asking, ‘What do I need right now?’”
But Isn’t Self-Criticism What Drives Growth?
This is one of the most common myths—and one of the most damaging.
Many of us were raised to believe that being hard on ourselves is what keeps us disciplined, successful, or safe. We fear that if we stop criticizing ourselves, we’ll become lazy or weak.
But the research tells a different story.
Studies by Neff and others have shown that self-compassion is a stronger motivator than self-judgment. It leads to greater persistence, better mental health, more secure relationships, and less anxiety and depression.
Why? Because growth rooted in shame creates pressure, perfectionism, and burnout.
Growth rooted in compassion creates safety, courage, and long-term change.
What Self-Compassion Looks Like in Real Life
When you fail, instead of saying “I’m so stupid,” you say: “This is hard. And it’s okay to be human.”
When you’re anxious, instead of pushing it away, you breathe and say: “This hurts. May I be kind to myself right now.”
When your Inner Critic shows up, you meet it with curiosity, not compliance.
This is not weakness.
This is a return to strength.
Self-compassion is not a way to excuse behavior.
It’s the only sustainable way to change behavior without damaging yourself in the process.
In The Inner Shift, we don’t use self-compassion as a warm fuzzy add-on.
We use it as a core practice.
Because without it, trauma stays frozen, the Inner Critic stays in charge, and the Inner Child stays exiled.
But when compassion is present?
Everything begins to soften.
And from that softness, healing begins.
Part 2: Why We Resist Self-Compassion
If self-compassion is so effective, why do so many people resist it?
Why do high performers bristle at the word?
Why do trauma survivors feel unworthy of it?
Why do so many of us tighten up when the idea of being kind to ourselves is suggested?
The answer lies not in weakness, but in adaptation.
The Inner Coach That Learned to Be Tough
Imagine an athlete growing up with a harsh coach.
One who yelled at every mistake.
One who used shame as motivation: “If you mess up, you sit out.”
“You’ll never make it if you’re soft.”
That athlete might get results—at first.
They train harder. Push further. Win some races.
But over time, something else starts to happen.
They burn out.
They doubt themselves.
They tighten up under pressure.
They lose the love of the game.
Studies in sports psychology now show what many elite coaches have finally realized:
A tough coach may win games in the short term—but they destroy potential in the long term.
Athletes thrive when they feel safe, supported, and trusted.
They grow most when mistakes are treated as learning moments—not character flaws.
The same is true inside you.
You Internalized That Tough Coach
That same “tough coach” voice—critical, controlling, never satisfied—lives inside many of us.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), we call it a Manager Part.
Its job? Keep you safe by keeping you small.
It says: “If I criticize you first, no one else can.”
“If I’m hard on you, you won’t get hurt again.”
This part likely developed early, maybe when you were a child and:
You were only praised when you performed.
You were punished for expressing emotion.
You were left to figure things out alone.
In those moments, kindness wasn’t safe.
Softness felt dangerous.
So you armored up.
You learned to treat yourself with judgment instead of gentleness, because back then—it worked.
But here’s the catch:
What once protected you is now what’s preventing you.
The False Belief: “I Need My Critic to Stay Motivated”
This is one of the most common—and tragic—misunderstandings.
Many high performers and trauma survivors believe:
“If I let go of self-criticism, I’ll become weak, lazy, or out of control.”
But research from Dr. Kristin Neff and others shows the exact opposite.
Self-compassionate people:
Are more resilient after failure
Take more responsibility for their mistakes
Are less likely to procrastinate
Perform better in school, sports, and relationships
Why? Because they’re not stuck wasting energy battling shame.
They recover faster.
They try again sooner.
They stay in the game longer—because they feel safe enough to grow.
The Truth: Your Inner Critic is Afraid
When we work with clients in the Inner Shift, we often find this moment of revelation:
“I thought my Inner Critic hated me.
But really, it’s terrified of what might happen if it stopped pushing me.”
It’s afraid that without it, you’ll be abandoned, rejected, or left behind.
But here’s the deeper truth:
The Inner Critic is not your enemy.
It’s a wounded protector.
And what it really needs is reassurance—from the calm, wise, compassionate Self within you.
Healing the Inner System
When you begin to meet that tough inner coach with curiosity, everything changes.
Instead of trying to silence it, you learn to listen.
Instead of fighting the inner critic, you ask it what it’s afraid of.
In IFS, this moment often leads directly to the Exile—a young part of you still holding pain, shame, or fear.
And it’s that part—the Inner Child—that most needs compassion.
This Is Not Letting Go of Standards—It’s Letting Go of Shame
Choosing self-compassion doesn’t mean abandoning growth.
It means growing from love, not fear.
Just like great coaches build trust instead of terror, you can lead yourself from your True Self—not from your wounds.
When you do, performance improves.
So does motivation.
So does joy.
Because you're no longer running from pain—you’re moving toward purpose.
Part 3: The Healing Power of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion doesn’t just make you feel better.
It heals what’s been broken.
It is the internal medicine for the hidden wounds most people carry:
Childhood shame
Unmet emotional needs
Anxious or avoidant attachment
Internalized criticism
Emotional overwhelm
Identity confusion after trauma
In The Inner Shift, we use self-compassion as a core intervention.
Because whether you’re struggling with anxiety, relationships, or self-worth, your healing begins when you stop relating to yourself like a project—and start relating to yourself like a person in pain who deserves love.
A. Healing Trauma
Trauma fragments you.
It disconnects you from your Self.
It buries parts of you under protection, avoidance, or fear.
And those parts won’t come out of hiding if they feel judged.
“You cannot heal what you are still trying to control.”
In IFS language, self-compassion is the quality of the True Self that creates safety for the system. It lets your protector parts relax. It allows Exiles (the wounded inner child) to feel seen. It sends a message that says: “You don’t have to fight anymore.”
Compassion is what trauma never gave you.
And it is what ultimately begins to unfreeze your system.
B. Healing Shame
Shame is often called “the master emotion” of trauma.
It’s the internal story that says: “I’m not good enough.”
“I’m unlovable.”
“There’s something wrong with me.”
It’s not just a thought. It’s a felt sense in the body: a collapse, a shrinking, a turning away.
Shame isolates you. Self-compassion reconnects you.
“Shame grows in silence. Compassion speaks love into the silence.”
Dr. Kristin Neff’s “Self-Compassion Break” is one of the most powerful antidotes:
This is a moment of suffering. (Mindfulness)
Suffering is part of being human. (Common Humanity)
May I be kind to myself. (Self-Kindness)
Even just repeating those three lines in a moment of shame starts to shift your nervous system from collapse to care.
C. Healing Attachment Injury
Many people don’t realize that what they’re really healing from is not what happened—but what didn’t happen.
The attunement that wasn’t there.
The safety that was inconsistent.
The warmth that was withheld.
Attachment injury isn’t about a broken bone—it’s about a broken bond.
And self-compassion becomes the way to rebuild that bond—from the inside out.
When you place your hand on your heart and whisper, “I’m here for you,”
you are giving your nervous system something it never got: co-regulation and emotional presence.
This is what we call inner reparenting.
You become the secure base your inner child never had.
And from that base, healing ripples outward.
D. Healing the Inner Critic (Judge)
The Inner Critic may be loud, but it’s also scared.
It developed to keep you in line—to avoid rejection, humiliation, or failure.
Most people try to fight it, banish it, or silence it.
But in The Inner Shift, we do something different.
We listen.
Using the 6 F’s of IFS, we get curious:
Where is this part in your body?
What does it look like?
How do you feel toward it?
What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?
And most of the time, its answer is: “You’ll get hurt again.”
When you meet that fear with self-compassion, something shifts.
The Critic softens.
The Protector begins to trust you.
And the Inner Child it’s been shielding… can finally come forward.
E. Healing the Inner Child
The Inner Child doesn’t need you to explain the past.
It needs you to show up with love in the present.
Most of our deepest wounds were caused when love was conditional—based on behavior, performance, or perfection.
Self-compassion gives the Inner Child what was missing:
Unconditional love
Emotional presence
Permission to feel
A safe adult who doesn’t abandon them
Whether through mirror work, journaling, visualizations, or IFS unburdening, self-compassion is the language the Inner Child understands.
It is the only voice that can reach through the years and say,
“You’re not alone anymore. I’ve got you now.”
Compassion is the Healing Agent Across All Three Inner Shifts
3 Inner Shift—What Heals
False Self → True Self
Releasing shame, masks, and roles through compassion and reconnection to your essence
Inflexibility → Flexibility
Creating space for emotion, thoughts, and imperfection with gentleness
Trauma State → Wholeness
Providing the safety that allows frozen parts to thaw and integrate
Self-compassion isn’t a soft skill.
It’s the strongest healing force you have.
Because it’s not just a feeling—it’s a frequency.
One that reorganizes your nervous system, heals shame at its root, and restores the bond between your parts and your Self.
“Healing doesn’t happen because you try harder. It happens because you stop running and turn toward yourself—with love.”
Part 4: Self-Compassion and the Inner Shift
To transform your life, you don’t need to conquer your pain.
You need to learn how to relate to it differently.
That’s why self-compassion isn’t just one tool in the toolkit—it’s the thread that runs through everything we teach in The Inner Shift.
It is the condition that allows healing to take place.
The tone that makes emotional flexibility possible.
The presence that reconnects your fragmented parts.
Without self-compassion, the system stays guarded.
With it, the door opens—and everything inside begins to shift.
Let’s look at how it powers each of the Three Inner Shifts:
1. From False Self → True Self
Your False Self was built to protect you.
It’s made of masks, roles, and strategies you adopted to get love, stay safe, or avoid pain.
And the deeper truth?
You didn’t choose this.
You adapted.
But underneath all of that—your overthinking, pleasing, performing, or controlling—is your True Self: the part of you that is calm, compassionate, and whole.
Self-compassion is what allows that True Self to re-emerge.
It says to your survival strategies: “Thank you. You can rest now.”
And in that rest, the real you begins to return.
2. From Inflexibility → Flexibility
Psychological inflexibility is when you can’t step back from your thoughts, can’t tolerate difficult emotions, and feel locked into reactive behaviors.
Self-compassion makes space.
It gives you permission to pause instead of panic.
To soften instead of resist.
To say, “This is hard—and I can be with it.”
In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), this is the shift from fusion to defusion, from struggle to willingness.
In The Inner Shift, it’s the shift from control to curiosity.
Self-compassion is what lets you experience discomfort without shame—which is the key to real emotional resilience.
3. From Trauma State → Wholeness
When we’ve experienced trauma—especially developmental trauma—parts of us freeze in time.
We internalize beliefs like:
“I’m not safe.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“Love always hurts.”
These beliefs live in the nervous system and in the subconscious.
They get enforced by what PQ (Positive Intelligence) calls the Judge—the master saboteur. But in PQ, the Judge is not just an inner critic. It’s a composite:
The inner critic of self (“You’re failing again.”)
The critic of others (“They’re not doing it right.”)
The critic of circumstance (“This shouldn’t be happening.”)
This part formed early. Not because you were bad—but because it felt safer to judge yourself before someone else could.
The logic of the Judge:
“If I punish myself first, it won’t hurt as much when they do it.”
Sometimes, it was even an act of love:
A part of you took on the job of saying, “Don’t forget your lunch. Don’t speak too loudly. Don’t mess this up.”
Because it remembered how painful the criticism from others had been.
But over time, the Judge became relentless.
And it stopped feeling like protection.
It started to feel like prison.
Self-compassion is what breaks those chains.
When you shift from Saboteur to Sage—when you say, “I see you, and I choose love instead of fear”—
you activate the healing energy that rewires your inner world.
Self-Compassion: The Master Regulator
If your internal system is like a family, then self-compassion is the warm, steady parent who brings calm to the chaos.
When your Inner Critic is screaming…
When your Inner Child is hiding…
When your Protectors are overworking…
…it is self-compassion that steps in and says:
“You’re all welcome here. And you don’t have to do this alone anymore.”
In truth, self-compassion is not a soft skill—it’s a survival skill.
Not to keep you alive—but to help you truly live.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” — Rumi
Self-compassion is the light.
Part 5: How to Build the Habit of Self-Compassion
Self-compassion isn’t just a concept—it’s a practice.
And like any new habit, it must be cultivated intentionally.
Especially if you were raised in an environment where love was conditional, where mistakes led to shame, or where inner kindness was seen as weakness—you may need to relearn how to be with yourself in a new way.
This is not about adding one more thing to your to-do list.
It’s about changing the way you relate to yourself—moment by moment, especially when life gets hard.
Below is a complete guide for building the habit of self-compassion, grounded in both science and practice.
Step 1: Take the Self-Compassion Assessment
Before building the habit, begin with awareness.
🎯 Take the Self-Compassion Test by Dr. Kristin Neff
This free self-assessment will help you understand your current relationship to self-kindness, self-judgment, mindfulness, and common humanity. You’ll see where you’re strong—and where you might begin.
This is your baseline. From here, you grow.
Step 2: Practice the Self-Compassion Break (Neff’s Core Tool)
This is the go-to practice to shift out of self-judgment in real time.
When something painful happens, pause and say:
“This is a moment of suffering.” (Mindfulness)
→ I’m not denying what’s happening. I’m naming it.“Suffering is part of being human.” (Common Humanity)
→ I am not alone in this.“May I be kind to myself.” (Self-Kindness)
→ What would I say to a dear friend right now?
You can use this silently, aloud, or even in writing.
Inner Shift Tip: Create your own phrase:
“This hurts. It’s okay to feel. I’m still worthy of love.”
Step 3: Use Free Guided Meditations (10–20 Minutes)
Dr. Neff has generously made a library of meditations available to the public, free of charge.
🧘♀️ Explore the Free Meditations
We recommend:
Soften, Soothe, Allow – for emotional overwhelm
Affectionate Breathing – for grounding and safety
Exploring the Inner Critic – for working with judgmental parts
Compassionate Body Scan – for embodied presence
Loving-Kindness for Yourself – for Inner Child reparenting
📌Inner Shift Tip: Pair a meditation with somatic anchoring (see next step).
Step 4: Anchor Self-Compassion in the Body
Self-compassion isn’t just a mental shift.
It needs to be felt in the body to rewire your nervous system.
Here are simple somatic anchors:
Hand-on-Heart or Belly:
Place your hand on your chest, breathe slowly, and say,
“I’m here with you.”Self-Hold:
Cross your arms gently across your chest (like a hug) and rock slightly.
This stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system.Mirror Work:
Look into your own eyes and softly say, “You’re doing your best. I love you.”Warm Water Practice:
Place your hands in warm water and breathe slowly.
Imagine the warmth as love filling your body.
Step 5: Journal with Compassion
Use journaling to interrupt the inner critic and give your Self a voice.
Try these prompts:
“What did I need to hear today that I didn’t?”
“How would I speak to a friend who felt this way?”
“What would my Wise Self say about this situation?”
“Where was I hard on myself—and what did that part need instead?”
📌 Inner Shift Tip: Write from the voice of your Inner Child, then write a letter to that part from your True Self.
Step 6: Replace the Judge with the Sage
Using Positive Intelligence (PQ), shift from your Saboteur to your Sage:
Notice the Judge voice:
“You should’ve done more.”
“They always let you down.”
“This situation is unacceptable.”
Pause. Breathe.
Ask:
“What would the most loving part of me say instead?”
That’s your Sage.
Your Self.
Every time you practice this, you build the neural pathways of compassion over fear.
Step 7: Take the Full Self-Compassion Course (Optional, Highly Recommended)
Dr. Kristin Neff’s Course: “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself”
Available through Sounds True for just $50
👉 Take the Course
Includes:
Full audio lessons
Guided meditations
Self-compassion exercises
Real-life examples
here is the course link: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/self-compassion-step-by-step
📌 Inner Shift Recommendation:
This course is the perfect complement to the Inner Shift model.
We strongly encourage clients and readers to take it early in their healing journey.
Step 8: Create a Daily Practice
Consistency is more powerful than intensity.
Create a 5-minute ritual each morning or evening. Example:
Put hand on heart.
Say your mantra: “I am learning to love myself.”
Breathe slowly and feel your body.
End with a compassionate journal line or meditation.
Remember: Compassion Is a Skill—Not a Trait
You weren’t born self-critical.
You learned it for survival.
Now, you can unlearn it—for healing.
“Self-compassion isn’t something you earn. It’s something you reclaim.”
Because at your core, your True Self has always been kind.
And once you begin to relate to yourself with love,
everything else becomes possible.
Closing: The Return to Inner Kindness
Self-compassion is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about returning to the part of you that’s always been there—
quiet, steady, and kind.
The part that never needed to be earned.
The part that never judged you for struggling.
The part that still believes you are worthy of love.
Even now.
In a world that prizes productivity and punishes imperfection, learning to relate to yourself with warmth is a radical act. But it’s the very act that rewires your nervous system, calms your inner critic, and rebuilds your relationship with your Self.
It’s how the healing begins.
It’s how the wholeness returns.
So take the assessment.
Try one meditation.
Place your hand on your heart tonight and whisper, “I’m here with you.”
It’s not complicated.
It’s just unfamiliar.
But every time you choose self-compassion over shame,
you step one breath closer to who you really are.
“Healing begins the moment you treat yourself like someone worth loving.”
And that someone… is you.
Appendix:
21-Day Self-Compassion Practice
Welcome to Your 21-Day Inner Shift Journey
This is not a challenge. It’s a relationship. This is not about performance. It’s about presence.
Each day for the next 21 days, you’ll gently reconnect with the part of you that deserves the love you’ve been withholding: yourself.
You don’t need to do this perfectly. In fact, the whole point is to stop trying to be perfect.
Instead, you’ll show up for yourself with curiosity, warmth, and care—even when it feels awkward, even when resistance arises. Especially then.
How to Use This Course
Time Required Each Day: 5–15 minutes
When to Practice: Ideally once in the morning or evening, but each exercise can also be used when triggered or in need of comfort.
What You’ll Need: A quiet space, a journal or note app, optional headphones for guided meditations, and a willingness to be with yourself gently.
Key Practices Throughout:
Hand-on-Heart: Use this as a somatic anchor. Place your hand on your heart or belly, breathe slowly, and speak to yourself gently. Repeat anytime you feel anxious, judged, or disconnected.
Journal Prompt: Write 2–5 minutes to explore or release emotions.
Reflection: Each day ends with a simple reflection to reinforce integration.
You may repeat days, pause when needed, and revisit practices anytime. The course is designed to meet you where you are.
Week 1 – Reclaiming Kindness
Day 1: Take the Self-Compassion Test
https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/
Reflect: What did you notice?
Day 2: Self-Compassion Break (Neff)
"This is a moment of suffering."
"Suffering is part of being human."
"May I be kind to myself." Do this once today. Repeat if triggered.
Day 3: Hand-on-Heart Practice
Sit or lie down, place your hand on your heart, breathe.
Whisper: "I’m here. I care. I’ve got you."
Do this for 2 minutes. Optional: repeat throughout the day.
Day 4: Guided Meditation: Affectionate Breathing
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
Reflect: How did your body respond to the tone of kindness?
Day 5: Journal Prompt
"What part of me feels most judged? What might it need instead?"
Day 6: Mirror Work
Look into your eyes. Say: "You’re doing your best. I love you."
Day 7: Rewrite the Critic
Recall a recent moment of self-judgment. Rewrite it as your most compassionate friend would say it.
Week 2 – Rewiring the Inner System
Day 8: Practice Neff’s Self-Compassion Break during a real-life stress moment.
Day 9: Dialogue with Your Inner Critic
Draw or describe it.
Write a letter to it from your Wise Self: "Dear protector, I see why you’re afraid..."
Day 10: Meditation: Exploring the Inner Critic
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
Day 11: Reflective Journal:
How were mistakes treated in your childhood?
How did you learn to treat yourself?
Day 12: Self-Holding Exercise
Cross your arms gently (like a hug), rock slowly, breathe.
Day 13: Write a letter to your Inner Child from your adult Self.
Day 14: Gratitude and Pride
List 3 things you did well this week. Let yourself feel proud.
Week 3 – Living as Love
Day 15: PQ Shift: Catch the Judge. Name it. Shift to the Sage.
Ask: "What is the most loving thing I could say right now?"
Day 16: Write Your Self-Compassion Mantra
Examples: "I am learning to love myself, even when I fail."
Day 17: Meditation: Loving-Kindness for the Self
https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/
Day 18: Change Your Tone
All day, notice your inner voice.
Soften it. Make it kinder.
Day 19: Rewrite a Painful Past
Choose a difficult moment in your history. Retell it from your compassionate adult Self.
Day 20: Retake the Self-Compassion Test
Reflect on what’s changed.
Day 21: Celebrate You
Choose one self-loving action today: a bath, walk, rest, nourishment.
Not as a reward. As a reminder.
After the 21 Days
This is just the beginning. Choose 1–2 practices to continue weekly. Create a compassionate rhythm that supports your Inner Shift journey.
If you’d like to go deeper: 🎓 Take Kristin Neff’s full course: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/self-compassion
Remember: healing happens not when you try harder, but when you love yourself deeper.
You are worth loving—especially by you.