BN#52 Creating Lasting Transformation:
Building the Foundation of Mental Health With the 6 Skills that Improve (Virtually) Every Aspect of Your Life
Today with peace, love, and joy, I am sending this newsletter from Chiang Mai, Thailand. Speaking of diverse paths, as a director of the newly registered non-profit, Canadian Association of Nuad Thai & Spa (Nuad is Massage in Thai Language), I had a magnificent dinner last night at the incredible, artistic, and wonderful Lanna-style Hotel and Restaurant Rachamankha with the family that owns ITM - Chiang Mai, which has consistently been ranked as one of the top 3 Thai massage schools in the world.
All 4 of the beautiful ladies in the picture which was taken in the courtyard of the Rachamankha restaurant would probably say it was the number one Thai Massage School in the World (lol)—they run ITM Schools (from left to right) in Chiang Mai, Edmonton, me, Toronto, Sao Paul/Chiang Mai. The 3 Canadians are the Directors of the Canadian Association.
Being an owner of a massage spa chain is actually part of my 2040 mission and part of me being my best self and being self-realized, which is what today’s newsletter is all about. A massage spa chain is one of the businesses that I identified as being part of the 10 businesses I wanted to start in my blog of January 2, 2020 (here) when I first wrote my 2040 mission statement and 101 things I wanted to accomplish by then.
Even back then, I knew I had to transform myself to be the type of person who could accomplish what I wanted. This was one of my 101 goals. You need to BE, DO, HAVE, not DO, HAVE, BE. Transformation before the having. You got to BE the type of person who can 10X before you can 10X.
I believe that today, I am the person (BE) who can accomplish my 2040 Mission and as part of my journey, I will be sharing with you what I have learned, which is a major part of my mission. I truly believe as we each become our True Selves and share our unique talents and gifts in service to others, we will create a better world together. One of my main missions is to help 1000 people (50 per year) closely in the next 20 years to be their best selves, by upgrading their minds to become self-realized or psychologically flexible, so that they can be their True Selves and realize their unique mission.
In September 2023, I will have 5 new openings for the True Self Mind Mastery program. For more information, please see www.markhughsam.com or reach out to me at mhughsam88@gmail.com or call 1-818-659-5518.
The Journey of Transformation
In our previous newsletter BN#51, I shared with you my thoughts on Self-Realization and Self-Actualization. We noted that philosophically, despite the differences in language, methods, and cultural contexts, the concept of self-realization in Eastern and Western philosophies, spiritual traditions, and modern psychology shares several common themes. The journey of transformation involves: 1. a profound shift in consciousness and one's interconnectedness with the universe 2. a greater understanding of ourselves to realize our full potential. This transformative power of inner exploration: 3) results in a virtuous life filled with love that leads to greater peace, joy, love, and fulfillment and contributes to a more compassionate and understanding world.
The paths to self-realization are as diverse as the individuals who embark on them and require consistent practice and commitment. Whether it's the practice of meditation in Buddhism, prayers and virtues in Christianity, the practice of Kriya Yoga in Yogananda's teachings, the practice of virtue in Aristotelian philosophy, or the practice of psychological flexibility in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, consistent practice is key to facilitating the transformative process of self-realization.
Maslow’s Self-Actualization
If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life - Abraham Maslow
Maslow’s Self-Actualization as we noted has often been equated with Self-Realization. I have been reading Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization by Barry Scott Kaufman.
I have noted several key insights from the book.
1) Maslow did not create the Pyramid of Needs Hierarchy which a management consultant did. In fact, Maslow described the needs hierarchy more like a set of Russian dolls with the needs inside each other instead of a pyramid.
2) Maslow died of a heart attack while working on the concept which he placed on top of Self-Actualization which he described as Self-Transcendence.
3) Maslow divided the hierarchy into “Deficiency Needs” (lack of safety, connection/belonging, or self-esteem) and “Growth Needs” (purpose, love, exploration).
“If you can transcend the fear of death, which if possible…your life today, at this moment, would change. And the rest of your life would change. Every moment would change. I think we can teach this transcending of the ego.” — Maslow
“During the last few years of his life, Maslow was working on a series of exercises to transcend the ego and live more regularly in the "B-realm”—the realm of “pure Being.” He referred to this as “positive psychology.” Not focusing on the not-having, but rather the having.
“Distinguishing between “defensive-wisdom” and “growth-wisdom,” Maslow argued that the Being-Realm of existence is like replacing a clouded lens with a clear one. Instead of being driven by fears, anxieties, suspicions, and the constant need to demands on reality, one is more accepting and loving of oneself and others. Seeing reality more clearly, growth-wisdom is more about “What choices will lead me to greater integration and wholeness?” rather than “How can I defend myself so that I can feel safe and secure?” (From Transcend)
4) Maslow recognized that very early on our deficiencies or D-needs were often masked by “protective” behaviors.
“The greater the deficiency of these needs, the more we distort reality to fit our expectations and treat others in accordance with their usefulness in helping us satisfy our most deficient needs. In the D-realm, we are also more likely to use a variety of defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from the pain of having such deficiency in our lives. Our defenses are quite “wise” in the sense that they can help us to avoid unbearable pain that can feel like too much to bear a the moment.” (from Transcend; bold by MHS)
These “defenses” sounds like the Saboteurs from Positive Intelligence and Protectors from Internal Family System. The deficiency of needs, if we turn them into belief statements reflects the “injured” core beliefs of “I am not lovable” (belonging), “I am not safe” (safety), and “I am not enough” (self-esteem).
From Self-Actualization to Flourish, From Maslow to Barrett to Seligman
Maslow’s needs hierarchy was essentially a framework to move from our deficiency needs to our growth needs, from our negative self to our positive self, from fear to love. This is very much the movement of Positive Psychology, moving from negative to positive, and what Positive Intelligence teaches.
If Maslow had lived and continued he would have been part of the Positive Psychology movement that emphasized staying with the growth-wisdom. Martin Seligman was able to take Maslow’s concepts a the root of Self-Transcendence (i.e. who are we when we are our best selves) and call it Flourish. I have written before on Flourishing here.
So the concept of Maslow’s Self-Actualization would have probably evolved into Self-Transcendence. Maslow’s Need Hierarchy with Self-Transcendence at the top with a focus on the “B-realm” was part of the foundation of the Positive Psychology movement. The Positive Intelligence equivalent of Maslow’s B-realm would be the emphasis on values like the Via Character assessments which is a big part of what Seligman came up with Flourish.
Note also that Barrett Values maps 1 to 1 onto Maslow’s need hierarchy—Barrett is just another way of trying to understand our “needs” via “values”. I’ve written before about this in #13 Bamboo Growth Newsletter: An X-Ray Into Your Mind and Your 4 Core Beliefs--Takes 5 Minutes (click for link).
Seligman first said the goal of life was Happiness (a value), then realized that was not enough. So he added meaning and using one’s talent to achieve flow, combining the 3 “values” which he called Authentic Happiness. Still, those values were not enough and he added achievement and solid relations to Authentic Happiness to create Flourish—that is when humans are at their authentic best selves i.e. they are self-actualized, self-transcendent, self-realized—they are flourishing—with the values of happiness, meaning, flow, achievement, and solid relations being very highly exhibited in your flourishing life.
It is a little harder to map the VIA character virtues and strengths to Seligman’s Flourish's 5 values—but mapping could include Transcendence to Meaning, Humanity and Justice to Relationships, Wisdom to Talents and Achievement, and Temperance and Courage to Happiness.
Flourish vs Psychological Flexibility
While it is not talked about much, there are six core “yearnings” (call them needs) that underpin Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). These six needs resemble closely, but not quite one-to-one, Maslow’s need hierarchy. ACT’s six yearnings are Belonging (Self-as-Context—(this is a stretch, but if you also call Self-as-Context the Transcendent Self (Hayes uses this term), then this makes sense)), Coherence (Cognitive Defusion), Feeling (Acceptance-Emotions), Orientation (Present Moment), Self-Directed Meaning (Values), and Competence (Committed Action). And in order to overcome our “defenses” i.e. ego natural inclinations, we use the six ACT tools to move from psychological inflexibility to psychological flexibility. One of these ACT tools is Values which helps to have self-direct meaning, and Values are a big component of Flourish.
Again while not mapped one-to-one, Psychological flexibility is a toolset to enable individuals to Flourish and be their best selves and goes beyond just values. When you add the cognitive behavioral tools as part of ACT, this enables one to further tackle if required, the “defenses” of the D-realm. Psychological Flexibility allows individuals to be their best selves and therefore becomes another name and way (close concept) for Self-Actualization or Flourish.
Psychological Flexibility is Crucial to 10Xing
For many (like myself) who are flourishing or wanting it all—health, joy, love, and abundance, the notion of 10X is a concept that has attracted attention. Grant Cardone popularized the notion, however, his version was doing 10X via the quantity i.e. working 10X as much to achieve 10X results. A quantitative relationship.
In the last of his 3 books with Dan Sullivan 10X is Easier than 2X, Benjamin Hardy lays out a step-by-step methodology for reaching 10X. 10X though in this book is about a qualitative difference that elevates the quality of what is produced rather than the quantity of output. The process is laid out as the 4 C’s formula:
Commitment
Courage
Capability
Confidence.
“As you commit to a specific standard far above your current capability and confidence, it pushes you outside your knowledge and comfort zone: hence, courage.
Through courageously adapting toward your commitment, you experience many “losses” and failures along the way, which you can utilize as feedback and learning. By adapting and applying your learning, you develop capabilities and skills you previously didn’t have, which you would not have developed, without having fully made the commitment.
Commitment leads to mastery, wherein you’ve normalized the new standard. As this level you have a higher degree of confidence.”
I highly recommend the book which forces you to think about the 20% of your identity and what you do that works and strips away the 80% that doesn’t work.
What is fascinating to me is that before you can even 10X, you need to be psychologically flexible. So what is often not emphasized enough is that you need to already BE the kind of person who can 10X i.e. the kind of person who is already self-realized, self-actualized, or psychologically flexible. Here are the direct words from the book. You need the 6 skills of psychological flexibility BEFORE you can 10X.
"Elevating your identity and standards is primarily emotional and thus qualitative, which is why psychological flexibility is so crucial to 10xing. To be psychologically flexible, you become increasingly comfortable and adaptive to situations and challenges which are initially uncomfortable to you. You see yourself as a context, not the content of your thoughts and emotions. As you evolve and expand yourself as a context, the content of your life—inside and out—simultaneously changes as well."
Creating Lasting Transformation
This has been a long convoluted way to combine BN#50 which discusses why psychological flexibility is the one skill that is needed for up to 90% of what makes people change and BN#51 the journey of self-realization and transformation.
Psychological Flexibility is one way to transformation and I think one that has been proven by science to create lasting change that leads to health, peace, joy, love, and fulfillment.
In order to help others learn psychological flexibility, I have created a workbook called Creating Lasting Transformation: Building the Foundation of Mental Health With the 6 Skills that Improve (Virtually) Every Aspect of Your Life
It is one way towards reaching one of my goals of touching 10 million lives by 2040. I wrote those goals in 2019. Since then, I have learned about others who are dedicated to having 51% of the world flourishing by 2051. So I am officially joining the movement with Brian Johnson at Heroic and Martin Seligman to create a world where 51% of the population is flourishing by 2051.
My workbook will be published in August 2023 and will be available for download in ebook for free from www.markhughsam.com under publications (link here) or www.trueselfmindmastery.com (when that website is up and running). It will also be available in print from Amazon.com for a fee.
In the meantime, I will provide in three installments in this and the next two newsletters (modified slightly for blog format and my additional thoughts—lol), the majority of the contents of the book beginning with the introduction in this newsletter below.
BN#52 —-The Introduction of the Book (see below),
BN#53—The 6 Skills—Understanding and Learning them.
BN#54—35-Day Challenge i.e. Daily Practice for the 6 Skills.
Next is the Introduction to the Book and the bulk of today’s newsletter.
With this book, we invite you to embark on a transformative journey, utilizing the power of the 6 ACT skills to create lasting change. As you delve into the chapters ahead, may you find inspiration, guidance, and practical tools to navigate the river of life, embracing transformation, and unlocking the full potential of your True Self.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) therapy has been found to be effective for a wide range of mental health issues. However, what excites me most is that these same ACT skills aka psychological flexibility, once learned, improve virtually every aspect of your life as I will explain shortly.
In a rapidly changing and unpredictable world, psychological flexibility has become a vital skill for navigating life's challenges and achieving personal growth.
Psychological flexibility (6 skills) offers a powerful framework for developing resilience, finding purpose, and living a rich and meaningful life.
Psychological flexibility can be best understood as the ability to adapt and respond effectively to the ever-changing circumstances and internal experiences that arise. It involves cultivating a mindset of awareness, openness, acceptance and action in alignment with our deeply held values.
The six ACT skills provide a comprehensive toolkit for developing psychological flexibility.
Acceptance
Cognitive Defusion
Present Moment
Self-as-Context
Values
Commitment
They offer practical strategies and techniques to navigate difficult emotions, challenge unhelpful thoughts, cultivate present-moment awareness, develop a sense of self beyond our thoughts and emotions, clarify our values, and take committed action towards an engaged and meaningful life.
Psychological Flexibility Is The Most Important Skill In Mental Health
From ACT Public Forum, posted by Steve Hayes, May 22, 2022
Psychological flexibility is the most important skill in mental health. It accounted for about 55% of the reasons why people change and when you add up similar attributes—it could be argued, it makes up to 85%-90% of the mental processes of why people change.
After examining 54,633 psychological studies (i.e., all the mediational studies up to 2019) to determine why people change, the results were published in August 2022 by Steven Hayes et al (the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy-ACT). This study can be found here. Summary article here: https://stevenchayes.com/the-most-important-skill-set-in-mental-health/
It is one of the most important studies in the history of psychology and I believe the largest meta-study that has ever been undertaken. This is often called the “Death Star Project” (ala Star Wars) because it took 4 years and up to 50+ people working on this project to complete it and for its importance.
ACT to Improve Mental Health
ACT has been proven in hundreds of double-blind studies to improve many mental health disorders (for each of the disorders below, I have referred in the Appendix in the book the name of the study and a quick summary of the study.)
Psychological Flexibility Improves (Virtually) Every Aspect of Your Life
What excites me most is the use of the ACT skills in everyday life. When people have learned the 6 ACT skills that makes up psychological flexibility, then virtually every aspect of their lives improves from A to Z: be it academic performance, chess, emotions, golf game, physical health, relationships, stress, weight management, work, or zest for life.
Learning these ACT skills is not limited to individuals experiencing specific mental health challenges. They are relevant and beneficial to anyone seeking to enhance their well-being, unleash their potential, and lead a more fulfilling life. By mastering these skills, we gain the capacity to respond flexibly to life's ups and downs, embrace discomfort as a natural part of growth, and make choices that align with our deepest values.
((It would make sense that when you are psychologically flexible which is another term to say “self-actualized”, “self-realized” or “being the best version of yourself”, then you should be able to take that version of yourself and be better in (virtually) all aspects of your life. MHS post note to the book))
Individuals who cultivate psychological flexibility experience numerous benefits across various domains of life. They are better equipped to handle stress, build meaningful relationships, pursue their goals, and engage in behaviors that align with their values. Psychological flexibility enables individuals to break free from self-defeating patterns, make conscious choices, and live a life of purpose and fulfillment.
While psychological flexibility is crucial for everyone, it is particularly relevant in today's fast-paced, uncertain world. The increasing demands of work, relationships, and personal challenges can often leave us feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected from our true selves. By developing the six core skills of ACT, we can enhance our psychological flexibility and unlock the potential for profound transformation and growth.
Here are just 20 of the items that have been proven in double-blind studies to have improved with ACT.
These twenty studies demonstrate the broad range of applications for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) beyond mental health disorders. From smoking cessation and weight loss to academic performance and sports, ACT has shown promise in enhancing various aspects of human functioning. Whether it is managing chronic pain, improving relationships, or optimizing performance in different domains, the evidence supports the effectiveness of ACT interventions in promoting positive outcomes and improving individuals' well-being.
It is important to note that while these studies provide valuable insights into the efficacy of ACT, each person's journey and experiences may vary. Consulting with a qualified mental health professional or therapist is recommended to tailor interventions to individual needs and circumstances. ACT offers a versatile and adaptable approach, empowering individuals to cultivate psychological flexibility and live a more fulfilling and meaningful life across diverse contexts.
Note: A summary with the name of all twenty studies can be found in the Appendix in the workbook.
ACT Improves Academic Performance: By Learning ACT Skills Early, My B+, Could Have Been an A
For example, here is one study using ACT that improves academic performance.
A study conducted by Räty et al. (2018) investigated the effects of ACT on academic performance and psychological well-being in university students. The findings revealed that ACT interventions led to improved academic achievement, reduced academic procrastination, and increased psychological flexibility among the participants. Expand
The study involved a group of university students who were randomly assigned to either an ACT intervention group or a control group. The ACT intervention group participated in a series of workshops and exercises that focused on key ACT principles, including acceptance of difficult thoughts and emotions, values clarification, and committed action towards academic goals. The control group did not receive any specific intervention during the study period.
The results of the study demonstrated several positive effects of ACT interventions on academic performance and psychological well-being. Students in the ACT intervention group showed significant improvements in their academic achievement, as evidenced by higher grades and better overall academic performance. Additionally, they exhibited a reduction in academic procrastination, suggesting that ACT techniques helped students overcome barriers to studying and completing tasks in a timely manner.
Furthermore, the ACT intervention group experienced increased psychological flexibility, which refers to the ability to adapt to challenging situations, manage thoughts and emotions effectively, and act in alignment with personal values. This increase in psychological flexibility was associated with higher levels of well-being and lower levels of stress among the students.
The findings of the study by Räty et al. (2018) highlight the positive impact of ACT interventions on academic performance and psychological well-being in university students. By fostering acceptance, values-driven action, and psychological flexibility, ACT can help students overcome academic challenges, reduce procrastination, and enhance their overall academic outcomes. This research underscores the value of integrating ACT principles into educational settings to support students' well-being and academic success.
Psychological Inflexibility to Psychological Flexibility
ACT Hexagon: OPEN, AWARE, ENGAGED
The ACT Hexagon is a visual representation of the 6 ACT skills. The 6 ACT skills interact with each other either helping or hurting the other 5 skills. If you are strong in one skill, that will help you to boost the other skills. If you are weak in one skill, that will weaken the other 5 skills. The ACT skills help people to be AWARE, OPEN, and ENGAGED in what matters most to them in life.
On the left-hand side of the hexagon is how OPEN someone is to their experiences i.e., thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories. Are you ACCEPTING or are you EXPERIENTIALLY AVOIDING your emotions? Are you COGNITIVELY FUSED so that you cannot observe your thoughts or are you COGNITIVELY DEFUSED?
In the middle of the hexagon is how AWARE you are. Are you living in the PRESENT moment or the PAST/FUTURE? Are you able to be the SELF-AS-CONTEXT (watch yourself within the environment/context i.e. be the Director (Observer or True Self)) or do you believe you are SELF-AS-CONTENT (you are the actor in the play i.e. is your Saboteur always you or just part of you).
On the right of the hexagon is how ENGAGED you are in what matters to you in life. Does your life LACK DIRECTION or are you clear about what VALUES matter to you? Are you COMMITTED TO ACTION or are you STUCK in pursuing what matters to you?
From Psychological Inflexibility to Psychological Flexibility
When someone is psychologically inflexible, they exhibit weak ACT skills. The person’s awareness is normally limited to only their conceptualized self (i.e., their ego-based self vs. their True Self) and often is stuck thinking about the past (depression) or future (anxiety). They are not open and are normally avoiding their emotions or their thoughts are fused, and they believe they are “not enough” or not lovable, or not safe. They will more than likely not be engaged in life and instead, lack direction in their life and are often “stuck”.
As a person learns these 6 ACT skills and puts them to use in their daily life, they will begin to move from psychological inflexibility to psychological flexibility.
When you are psychologically flexible, you exhibit strong ACT skills. You are aware, you recognize that you are the observer, your True Self (Self-As-Context) and you live more in the Present Moment. You are open and accept your feelings and experiences. You are cognitively defused; you know you are not your thoughts. Finally, you are engaged in your life. You know what you value and you take committed action towards what is most important to you.
ACT Advisor Assessment: Are you Psychologically Flexible or Psychologically Inflexible?
ACT ADVISOR USED WITH PERMISSION FROM DAVID CHANTRY
Instructions:
Rate yourself for each of the 6 Items on the above ACT Advisor rate yourself on a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is maximum towards the outer hexagon, and 1 is least for the inner hexagon. For example, Acceptance—ask yourself, “I willingly accept my thoughts and feelings even when I don’t like them” (10) or “I constantly struggle with my thoughts and feelings (1)” or is it somewhere in between? Write your scores below. These are indicative and a good way to look at them is if they are low, medium, or high.
What to Expect
Throughout this book, we will explore each of these six ACT skills in detail, providing insights, case studies, practical exercises, and metaphors to deepen your understanding and application. Embracing psychological flexibility through the ACT framework offers a pathway to deep inner transformation and empowers us to live authentically, connect with what truly matters, and create a life of purpose and meaning.
Take the ACT Advisor Score to know what your scores were before you began the book and after 30 days, take the scores to see how you are improving.
Let us embark on this journey together, exploring the power of psychological flexibility and the transformative potential of ACT. By developing these skills, we can be our True Selves, cultivate resilience, unlock our true potential and live our life purpose, and embrace the richness and beauty that life has to offer. We will have taken a giant step towards mind mastery and creating an evolved mind for our joyful soul.
Continued in the Next Newsletters
In BN#53 Creating Lasting Transformation: Chapters 1 to 6
In BN#54 Creating Lasting Transformation: 35-Day Challenge